To make a relationship work, you and your partner need to place a lot of effort. There are things that may make you go your separate ways such as absence of intimacy, conflicting schedules and lack of quality time. When the spark is fading in a relationship, you either allow it to disappear or do something to rekindle the romance. It is therefore important to know what the signs of a relationship going sour are, and how romance can come back in your lives.
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The first stage of a relationship is the honeymoon period where both of you are so in love with each other and do not see each other’s imperfections. When this phase ends, it is important for you to understand, know and accept each other to sustain the relationship. Compatibility and trust must be built so that if the union starts to crumble, you will both be strong enough to stay together and make things work.
One of the warning signs of a relationship turning sour is fear. This is present when you are afraid of doing or saying something which may irk your partner or when you are fearful of discussing pressing concerns with him as this may just annoy him. It is also there when you feel as if you are continuously watched and condemned by him and when you feel you are always doing something wrong. Relationship experts say the bigger relationship problems are usually expressed in sarcasm or negative criticism. This means your partner does not yell at you because of the way you put on make-up but he is angry because of a deeper issue.
Another warning sign of a relationship losing its spark is when you communicate less. It is not abnormal for your communication to lessen if you are both busy with separate activities or your individual work but it is unusual if you do not communicate while you are in the same place. For instance, you are always on your computer while your partner is reading a book in the same room. Your relationship may end if you view your partner not as a lover or a spouse but as a mere roommate. Another example is if you no longer call or send a text message to each other throughout the day. If you do communicate, it is out of courtesy and not because you want to.
Your relationship may suffer if you no longer pay attention to your individual appearances. You no longer put on makeup or style your hair while your partner does not put in effort to stay fit. Losing interest in your physical appearance will definitely make the marriage lose its spark.
Another sign of your relationship turning sour is if you or your partner would rather do something else by yourselves rather than together. Instead of watching TV with him, you do household chores. You allow him to sleep first while you read a book in the living room. You use distraction tactics in order to avoid one another instead of talking about your issues.
If there is more drama now in your relationship, it may be turning sour. If your partner argues with you even at the smallest things such as not closing the bathroom door after using it or not making the bed perfectly, it is a sign he is frustrated with you because of bigger issues. These small arguments become routine and do not have any resolution.
If you or your partner loses affection or intimacy, your relationship is losing its spark. You no longer kiss, hug or have sex. You do not say you love or miss each other anymore. If touching each other becomes appalling and not appealing, it is time to really sit down together and talk about fixing the relationship.
Such are signs of a relationship in trouble. If you wish to save it, you should start communicating with your partner and discuss this with him. If you feel these discussions are not working, go to a relationship counselor who can help you work through your issues in an objective manner.
In order to rekindle the romance, talk to your partner and discuss your relationship’s strengths. Write down all the qualities which you feel you are both doing right and then dwell on them instead of the negativities.
Have a date night with your partner every week where it is only the two of you in a romantic place. If you are married with kids, leave the children in the care of their grandparents or their babysitter. When you are together, do not discuss stressful things like problems at work and issues affecting your kids. Discuss the things which made you fall for each other prior to your marriage.
Both of you should remind each other of your love. This can be via a text message, a greeting card or an email. You can also write it down on a post-it and stick this on your refrigerator door. You can also leave this note in your partner’s drawer or in his car. When you surprise each other, this can bring back excitement in the relationship.
Other ways of surprising your partner is to cook for him his favorite meal, getting him a ticket to his favorite sport or buying him a bottle of his favorite perfume. If you are a guy, buy your partner a bouquet of roses and send this to her workplace. These simple things will really brighten your day and will bring back the spark in your relationship. Nothing is sweeter than receiving something nice from your partner after a hard day’s work.
Know the love language of your partner or how he expresses his feelings for you. There are five kinds of love language and these are acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving presents, and quality time. If you know how your partner shows his love, you can comprehend better his and your needs in your relationship.
Look directly and lovingly at the eyes of your partner to make him feel that you really see him. It will let him realize that you truly care for him. Always perform this as it will help bring back the magic in your relationship.
Learn to play with your partner. You can play hide and seek, catch or strip poker. You can also play cards, scrabble or chess. The one who loses should cook breakfast the following day. When you play with your partner, you allow laughter to come in and laughter will make the relationship more fun.
You should be intimate with each other for the spark to return in your relationship. You can take turns giving each other a foot or a back massage. Cuddle together when you watch TV. Put on soft music and slow dance together. Try new positions in bed which you have not tried before. If you prioritize quality time together, this will rejuvenate your relationship.
Have a vacation together so that you become more intimate. You can take a cruise vacation or just drive to a place you never visited before for the weekend. Escape from your usual routine. If you lack the budget, drive to the next town and spend a few hours there to have dinner, watch a movie or have a picnic.
Lastly, never give up on your relationship. Do new things to make it more exciting and fun. As long as you put effort in it, the spark will return in your relationship.