Boundaries In Relationship
Setting boundaries in relationship are limits you set to protect yourself from being manipulated by your partner. In other words, these boundaries are set to protect your own self-worth and they are essential to ensure a healthy relationship. Many have mistaken setting boundaries for controlling their partners’ action. Setting boundaries in relationship are actions that will be taken by you in any unfavorable situations caused by your partner. It is not action taken by your partner and you do not control your partner’s action either.
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Setting Boundaries In Relationship Clearly Are Essential
Are you wondering how to go about setting boundaries in relationship as clearly as possible? Do you tell your partner what to do and what not to do? Do you tell your partner to stop this and that because it annoys you? This is not setting boundaries but controlling your partner’s action. As you know, nobody likes to be controlled and if this controlling behavior prolongs, it will hurt your relationship in the long run. Wouldn’t it be easier to control your own action by setting boundaries in relationship clearly? Well, if you haven’t, this may be the right time for you to think about it. Stated below are a few things to remember when setting clear boundaries.
Setting Boundaries In Relationship – Take Action Accordingly
When you set boundaries, you should not tell your partner what to do or what not to do. You have to tell your partner what you will do in case you are treated in a very awful manner or if your partner behave undesirably. The fact is, you cannot change your partner’s behavior but you are capable of changing your own behavior. Once boundaries in a relationship are set, ensure that you really act on them accordingly to reap the benefit from it.
For example, if your partner shouts at you or curses you in the public and it really annoys you. You can tell your partner that if she/he does that again, you will leave her/him alone in the area and will not talk to her/him for some time.
Try to keep calm when you talk to your partner. Avoid shouting or stating your point with an angry voice as these will only aggravate the problem. Your partner may feel more angry as if you are controlling his/her behavior. Remember that you are setting boundaries because you love yourself and you do not want to hurt your self-worth and ruin your chance of building a healthy relationship. Therefore, setting boundaries in relationship are for your own good. Do not feel bad or frustrated about it
Making known to your partner of your actions to be taken in any unfavorable situation is important. But acting on them accordingly is what really matters. If you tell your partner of your actions but you are not capable of taking the appropriate actions in the real unfavorable situation, then your setting boundaries in relationship will not be beneficial to you. On the contrary, it may have adverse effect on your relationship as your partner will not respect your words again.
Therefore, setting boundaries in relationship ONLY when you are able to act on them. Setting boundaries are necessary to ensure that you will not be treated in an unkind manner. However, you must be willing to take responsibility for your own actions to benefit from it. Start loving yourself so that your partner will learn to respect you and treat you in a good and deserving way.